In French an orgasm is referred to as “la petit mort” – “The little death” – and if you’ve ever had a really good one, you can probably see the relation. Orgasms are little slices of heaven that we love coming back to over and over. Now imagine if you could stay there longer and make the feeling stronger.
Well, you can. And it doesn’t even require any tantric training or wonder drugs. Just try out these six tips next time you slide between the sheets. They work for guys and girls, though the methods might vary a bit from person to person.
Here we go!
1. Don’t skip the foreplay
I know you’re eager to wrap your legs around your sexy playmate, but like everything physical – it’s important to warm up first. Foreplay builds up arousal, which is key if you want to have a toe-curling orgasm. It also raises your levels of oxytocin, the hormone that makes you feel close and connected with your partner. Even if you’re just hooking up, feeling a strong physical connection is guaranteed to boost pleasure.
Not to mention, guys – foreplay adds time to your session! Want her to brag about how long you lasted? Add a touch of bliss at the beginning with your fingers and your lips.
2. Practice “peaking”
Sex is not a race, and it shouldn’t be a straight line either. Things get a lot more exciting when you get your partner really close to climax, and then ease off a bit. They’ll literally beg for more! This kind of teasing is an awesome way to build up to a really amazing orgasm when it finally comes.
Work your partner up so that they’re getting really hot, and pay attention to the signs that they’re getting close. They might start to tense up, or breathe heavily, or even grab and squeeze you. Whatever it is – when you notice it, ease back a bit or move your focus to something else.
Switching things up is really important to keep the pleasure going. Just rubbing the same place the entire time won’t do much, and you can tell when your partner stops responding. Try adding a second hand, a tongue, changing positions – whatever feels right and gets a good response!
When you see that your partner is desperately close, go all the way. Not only will they probably have a screaming orgasm, but you probably will too! Seeing your partner go over the edge and knowing you brought them there is a major turn on.
3. Think dirty thoughts
Lots of people like to imagine or talk about naughty scenarios during sex. Whatever gets you really hot, think about it all day long, and raise the bar the closer you get to your tryst and then the closer you get to orgasm. Sex is mental (and emotional) as well as physical – even for guys.
If your mind is completely aroused as your body is reaching climax, the result is heaven. Maybe you like to watch porn while you’re living some of your own – try climaxing with the people on the screen, or during whatever part you think is the hottest.
4. Bring in the toys
Toys are just for alone time. Guys and girls alike can get a lot of extra pleasure out of adding some battery-powered or “cyber skin” friends to the mix. Picking them out together can be a really sexy shopping trip and put you in the mood pretty quickly.
Using a vibrator in addition to regular penetration can be magical. Sliding into a cock ring can help maintain hardness throughout the whole experience. Blindfolds enhance skin sensations and are great to mix with ticklers or ice cubes. And lubes and oils keep the motion smooth (not to mention being great for sexy massages – everybody looks good shiny).
5. Ride the orgasmic wave
When we’re turned on and getting close to orgasm, we tend to tense up all over. This is normal and helps you build up to the big O – but once it arrives, let go! If you stay tensed you may not feel everything fully. A good orgasm is like a wave washing over every part of you. Breathing is a large part of a lasting orgasm. For women, flexing your kegel muscles in the midst of an orgasm can send a second and third wave your way – and herein lies the wonderful ability of multiple orgasms! Relax your body and enjoy it fully!
If you’ve been using the tips above and built up a really strong orgasm, it won’t fade quickly. You’ll spend a considerable amount of time just soaking in the bliss. Don’t rush to get past it, even if it tingles! Lay there and bask in it, notice where you feel it and how it slowly fades.
You earned it.
6. Remember to have fun
Never take your sex too seriously (unless that’s a kink for you). It’s supposed to make you feel good, not nervous or embarrassed. That’s why it’s so important not to criticize your partner in bed! Encourage them when they’re doing something right that feels great, and give them suggestions when you have a better idea.
Sex is one place you should feel completely comfortable and free – it’s play time! It’s okay to laugh if you or your partner aren’t exactly Don Juan. Just remember to laugh with them, never at them. Try new things, talk about your fantasies and relax. Supposedly your partner is someone you trust – and even if they’re a stranger, they should have a sense of humor or they’re probably not worth your time.