(Written for and published on Jasmin.com)
One of the hardest parts of organizing a threesome, after you’ve talked it over with your partner, is deciding who the third person should be. Do you ask a friend and risk making things awkward with them? Or do you find a stranger and risk them being crazy or never leaving you alone afterward?
Well there are pros and cons to each option, and I can’t say what will work best for you and your partner specifically, but I can help you weigh them both out. It’s not impossible so don’t get discouraged. Finding the right person to be your third, whether it’s for just one night or an ongoing thing, can take time. But it’s important if you want the experience to be enjoyable. So be patient, it’s worth it trust me.
Threesome with a friend?
The biggest concern with inviting a friend to a threesome is that it will mess up your relationship with them afterward. You might be worried that someone will get jealous, or that you won’t be able to look at each other the same anymore. But if you take the right steps, you can keep your friendship healthy whether they decide to join you or not!
First you need to consider what kind of person they are, and how comfortable you feel asking them to do something like participating in a threesome. Are they pretty sexually open? Do you think they would be likely to do something like that? If it seems way out of character for them, it may be better to ask someone else. If you have a friend that’s done something similar before they might be a better choice, and can even help guide you through it if it’s your first time.
Whoever you decide to ask, make sure they know there’s no pressure and that there’s no hard feelings. You want them to feel flattered, but not uncomfortable. Be respectful and let them now that you would love for them to think about it, but that you won’t be upset with them if they decide to turn you down.
If your friend does agree, it’s a good idea to establish some rules and expectations, or at least have a talk about what everyone wants out of it. Maybe you don’t want anyone to penetrate or be penetrated by your partner. Or maybe you want to set boundaries about your partner and your friend playing when you’re not around. Just make sure everyone’s on the same page. Communication is always key.
Threesome with a stranger?
The problem with asking a stranger is obvious: you don’t know them! You might be worried that they could be dangerous or lying about some aspect of themselves. That’s why it’s important to talk with them and get a little more comfortable before doing anything physical. You don’t even have to meet in person right away, maybe talk on the phone or exchange emails before you decide for sure.
And where do you find a stranger to ask anyway? Well a lot of people use dating websites and mention in their profile that they’re looking for a third partner. That way you can screen your choices and get some ideas about them. If you do decide to meet someone in person, go out somewhere first like a restaurant or bar rather than bringing them to your home right away, or going to theirs.
Make sure you and your partner both like the person you’re thinking of inviting, and make sure that they’re clean! Have them get tested and bring you the results, and even then you want to use a condom to prevent any other surprises. And just like with a friend who accepts, have a conversation about rules and expectations. Better to do it calmly beforehand rather than arguing about it afterward.
Take your time
I can’t stress this enough. Even if you’re really excited, don’t rush. Bringing someone into bed with you and your partner can be very emotional and if you rush it, it could cause problems for you in the long run. So choose carefully and don’t feel bad about being picky! Anybody who wants to join you should understand, so don’t let them rush you either, it’s your decision.
But if you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to message me directly! I can help you figure out what’s right for you and your partner and get you into the threesome of your dreams in no time.